| I posted this page in
October, 2004, as part of a larger effort
to encourage people not to vote for Bush.
Because he's not running for re-election,
I haven't really continued to update this
page, even though Bush has continued to
suck. Read Rolling Stone's
article, "The Worst President In
History?" here, Harper's
new article, "Worst. President.
Ever." here. |
The
"Bush Sucks!" Page
Welcome
to the page that helps you know that Bush
sucks!
Let's get started! |
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First, the website Google has identified as the
most useful among the over 460,000 sites in the
"Bush sucks!" category:
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See Bush
(literally) sucking away things like
"international goodwill,"
"separation of church and state," and
"tax fairness" — because Bush
thinks we're better off without them! - eviltron.com/bushsucks (Scott Runcorn, Andrew
Wallace, Peter Jacques, Leigh Crow, Phil
Dumesnil, and Asa Sanchez)
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And the next three most popular of those 460,000
"Bush sucks" websites:
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Were you amused
by the vacuum cleaner movie? See 150 other
equally funny 30-second movies like it on the
very popular "Bush in 30 Seconds"
website. - bushin30seconds.org
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The detailed case
against Bush. OC Weekly writer Greg
Stacy came up with "59 Reasons Why Bush
Sucks: why you'd have to be a freaking idiot to
vote for Bush." -ocweekly.com/ink/05/05/cover-stacy.php
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And there's the
succinct case against Bush. Among the many women
fed up with Bush are Babes Against Bush, who have
no trouble coming up with 99 terse reasons to
hate Bush, like number 12, "Mission
Accomplished." - babesagainstbush.com/reasons.html
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There's the definitive George W. Bush autobiography,
Scott Dikkers and Peter Hilleren's Destined for
Destiny:
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Winner of the
"Super-Special Presidential Award for
Biographizing," Destined for Destiny
includes chapters entitled "No Bush Child
Left Behind," "Then I Ran Some
Companies into the Ground," "It's a
Wonderful War," "I Won! Or Lost,
Whatever," and, unacceptably (but
delightfully), "The Clown-Faced Zombie I
Call My Wife." - amazon.com/Destined-Destiny-Unauthorized-Autobiography
-George/dp/0743299663
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Or consider these statements appearing in The New
Yorker:
"What
[Senator Edwards] did say was that Halliburton,
the company of which Cheney was C.E.O. before he
became Vice-President, has, among other
bad-sounding things, done business with
"sworn enemies of the United States"
(the allusion was to Libya and Iran), paid big
fines for providing false financial information
to stockholders, battened on no-bid,
multibillion-dollar contracts for work in Iraq, and
come under investigation for bribing foreign
officials."
- from
"The Talk of the Town: Stubborn
Things," by Hendrik Hertzberg, The
New Yorker, October 18, 2004, page 53
"Berg [Paul
Berg, a Nobel laureate], said, 'Congress is
saying that they're prepared to deny two hundred
and ninety million people in this country access
to a therapy that could be lifesaving, because
we're offended by the technology.' He paused, as
though he hardly knew how to respond to something
so outrageous. 'It's what I call un-American, to
even think in those terms!' He added that the
threat of such legislation, combined with the
constraints imposed by President Bush, had
discouraged young scientists from entering the field [of
biotechnology].
- from
"On the Ballot: Hollywood Science?"
by Connie Bruck, The New Yorker,
October 18, 2004, page 62
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The misinformation streaming from the Bush campaign
provides rich fodder for two comedic resources:
"His Unifying
Qualities," Mike Luckovich
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Comedy Central's
"The Daily Show with Jon Stewart," has
been threre through it all, with the Karl Rove
Whack-'Em game, an automated Scandal Generator,
and more: - http://crooksandliars.com/taxonomy/term/198
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And
Internet parody newspaper The Onion has
its own complete election guide with fake news
stories, like "Cheney Vows to Attack U.S. If
Kerry Elected."
- http://www.theonion.com
/content/node/30742
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"His Scary
Veep," Mike Luckovich |
Satirist extraordinaire Paul Slansky has written some
thirteen quizzes throwing ironic light on Bush
administration failings. Read them here. Here's
"The Thirteenth Hundred Days: The Quiz,"
appearing in The New Yorker of August 30, 2004.
To facilitate you more rapidly understanding that Bush
sucks, the correct quiz answers appear in red type:
QUIZ
THE
THIRTEENTH HUNDRED DAYS
by Paul
Slansky
1. Three of these statements
were made by George W. Bush. Which one was made
by Senator Rick Santorum (R-Pa.)?
(a)
“Our enemies are innovative and
resourceful, and so are we. They never stop
thinking about new ways to harm our country
and our people, and neither do we.”
(b)
“Tribal sovereignty means that it’s
sovereign. You’re a—you’ve
been given sovereignty and you’re viewed
as a sovereign entity.”
(c)
“Iraqis are sick of foreign people
coming in their country and trying to
destabilize their country, and we will help
them rid Iraq of these killers.”
(d) “Isn’t that the
ultimate homeland security—standing up
and defending marriage?”
Who’s who?
2. Alberto
Gonzales.
(e) The author of the 2002 memo to
George W. Bush which said that the war on
terrorism “renders quaint” certain
provisions of the Geneva Conventions.
3. Tony
Robinson.
(d) The former Army interrogation
instructor who said of the Abu Ghraib prison
photographs, “Frat hazing is worse than
this.”
4. Steven
Galson.
(c) The federal drug official who
rejected the 23-4 recommendation of an advisory
panel and refused to allow a morning-after
birth-control pill to be sold over the counter.
5. Thomas B.
Griffith.
(a) The Bush federal-appeals-court
nominee who practiced law in Utah for four years
without a state license.
6. Devon Largio.
(b) The college student whose
honors thesis found that the Bush Administration
offered twenty-three different rationales for the
Iraq war.
7. Terry Holt.
(f) The Bush campaign official who
referred to stem-cell researchers who oppose
restrictions on their work as “mad
scientists out of control.”
8. Complete George W. Bush’s statement:
“The reason ______________.”
(a) I
can’t stop saying ‘the American
people are safer’ [is] because the
American people are safer
(b) I keep insisting that
there was a relationship between Iraq and
Saddam and Al Qaeda [is] because there was a
relationship between Iraq and Al Qaeda
(c) people all over the world think the
United States government authorized torture
[is] because the United States government did
authorize torture
(d) Jenna stuck her tongue out at those
reporters [is] those reporters deserved to
have their tongues stuck out at
9. What caused Dick Cheney to say to Senator
Patrick Leahy (D-Vt.), “Fuck yourself”?
(a) Leahy
had said, “So, Dick, you didn’t
think you needed to check with the boss
before ordering planes full of civilians to
be shot down?”
(b) Leahy had made a comment comparing
Cheney’s “quintuple-deferment war
record” with John Kerry’s heroics.
(c) Leahy had pointed out how
many no-bid contracts had gone to
Halliburton.
(d) Leahy had said, “Cheney’s
turned into a James Bond villain.”
10. Three of these statements describe Deputy
Defense Secretary Paul Wolfowitz. Which one
describes his boss, Donald Rumsfeld?
(a) He
publicly understated the number of deaths of
United States soldiers in Iraq by more than
two hundred at a congressional hearing.
(b) He scoffed at the notion
that prisoners’“quality of
life” was compromised at Abu Ghraib,
saying, “Whether they have a PX or a
good restaurant is not the issue.”
(c) He told a House committee hearing that so
many negative stories are coming out of Iraq
because reporters are “afraid to travel
very much, so they sit in Baghdad and they
publish rumors.”
(d) He conceded, after a good deal of
questioning by a Senate committee, that
putting a bag over someone’s head for
seventy-two hours was “not humane.”
11. In May, the White House announced that George
W. Bush would deliver five weekly speeches
intended to shore up support for his Iraq
policies. How many of the five did he deliver
before abandoning the effort?
(a) One. (c) Three.
(b) Two. (d) Four.
12. Which statement did Ron Reagan not make?
(a)
“Dad . . . never made the fatal mistake
of so many politicians: wearing his faith on
his sleeve to gain political advantage.”
(b) “My father didn’t know George
W. Bush from Adam.”
(c) “Cheney brought my
mother up to the casket . . . she has
glaucoma and has trouble seeing. There were
steps, and he left her there. He just stood
there, letting her flounder. I don’t
think he’s a mindful human being.”
(d) “My father wouldn’t have had to
prove how macho he was by waving around
Saddam’s gun.”
13. Where was the Cheney rally at which people
were refused admission unless they signed this
statement: “I, (full name) . . . do herby
[sic] endorse George W. Bush for re-election of
the United States”?
(a)
Missouri. (c) Nevada.
(b) Michigan. (d) New Mexico.
14. How did George W. Bush pronounce the name of
Abu Ghraib prison, the site of the abuses that he
claimed to have been “disgusted of” and
“disgraced about”?
(a)
“Abugah-rayp.”
(b) “Abu-gareff.”
(c) “Abu-garon” and
“Abu-garah.”
(d) All of the above.
Answers:
(1) d, (2)
e, (3) d, (4) c, (5) a, (6) b, (7) f, (8) b,
(9) c, (10) b, (11) a, (12) d, (13) d, (14)
d.
|
And Patricia Marx's "Chain Letter,"
also appearing in The New Yorker, on July 12,
2004, purports to be a Bush memo on "How to Fixate
Medicare":
SHOUTS
AND MURMURS
CHAIN LETTER
by Patricia Marx
TO: Americans and fellow-acquaintances
FROM: George W. Bush, President
SUBJECT: How to Fixate Medicare
You can help in the war on health!!! This is not
an Internet hoax!!! Do not read this after
deleting it first!!!
HERE’S WHAT YOU DO: Send a million dollars,
or, if you’re a wealthy-oriented individual,
send more than a million, to Health Care, c/o The
Department of Treasury. Then, in the next
twenty-four hours, coplicate this e-mail and
e-mail it to ten friends who also have a million
dollars. In something like ninety-six hours, we
will have billions—or what’s that
bigger one?—of dollars.
WHAT HAPPENS IF YOU BREAK THE CHAIN? I can assure
you, and you have my word on this, that God will
bring you to justice. If you compare the folks
who sent the letter on the one hand with the ones
who broke the chain on their other hand, you will
definitely see a luck gap. There was one fellow
in New York who thought the letter was
“bull.” He deleted it and the next day
he was investigated because of some government
secrets he spilled the beans about. And his wife,
too. Another fellow we know—oops! I was
about to spill the beans on myself that time!
IS THIS LEGAL? Most chain letters that involve
monetary are against the law, but this one is
testifiably legal because the law and us are
simultaneous.
DOES THIS REALLY WORK? As a test, I sent the
e-mail to myself, and in about two seconds my
assistantist told me it was already in my e-mail
mailbox. So, yes, the system works.
WHY IS IT IMPORTANT TO RAISE THIS MONEY? I, like
you, if you agree with me, want to make sure our
children do not run out of money relevant to
federal programs. And that is why I’ve tried
not to allocate too much expenditure to a better
tomorrow. But now the press, as well as the media
and those fellows who do the news, started saying
that our Medicare program or Medicaid or whatever
you want to call it is going broke. They said the
prescription-drug bill I just passed will cost
more than I said it would, which is stupid
because even I don’t know how much it costs.
They also said doctors would charge too much to
their lower-incomed patients, but one thing those
pundit guys have to remember before they go
around obfusticating matters—it’s
expensive to life-style like a doctor.
See, one of the reasons we don’t have enough
funds is that there is too little money. But I
could remedify that by making the taxes less high
again. I hope to aspire to do that.
Now, you are probably asking yourself, “Why
do we even need a program like that one I just
said? Do we really need to embetter the
elderly and disabled? Is it the government’s job
to encourage sickness? Shouldn’t we leave
that up to the free market?” Those are good
questions and I agree. Since when is helping
people what America is about? But if we
don’t do something my opponent will come up
with ideas—and, sadly, everything will be
revampished by someone else.
HOW MANY TIMES HAS THIS CHAIN LETTER BEEN AROUND
THE WORLD? It used to be that we thought chain
letters had to go around the world at least seven
times to be official, and by the world I mean the
countries not counting the United States. It used
to be that we had to travel to see the world, but
now the good parts of the world came here—Au
Bon Pain, International House of Pancakes, Banana
Republic, Borders, Amazon.com, Yoplait, the
Cadillac Seville, cappuccino, to name just one
thing. So, in answer to your question, a chain
letter’s job does not require going to
foreign places anymore.
IS THIS A VIRUS? My Administration is against
viruses. So if you’re concerned in trying to
eliminate not just the virus but also the person
who has the virus, why don’t you lend a hand
with your money? |
Are you still undecided? Even John
Eisenhower, writing in the conservative New Hampshire
Union Leader, is voting against Bush. Read his story here.
Marvel at Evan Eisenberg's
"Bushido: The Way of the Armchair Warrior, appearing
in the June 7, 2004 New Yorker:
SHOUTS
AND MURMURS
BUSHIDO: THE WAY OF THE
ARMCHAIR WARRIOR
by Evan Eisenberg
Knowledge is not
important. The armchair warrior strives to attain
a state beyond knowledge, a state of deep,
non-knowing connection to the universe: in
particular, to that portion of the universe which
is rich, powerful, or related to him by blood.
The unenlightened speak of “failures of
intelligence.” But the armchair warrior
knows that “intelligence”—the
effort of the mind to observe facts, apply
reason, and reach conclusions about what is true
and what ought to be done—is a delusion,
making the mind turn in circles like an ass
hitched to a mill. The armchair warrior feels in
his hara, or gut, what ought to be done. He is
like a warhorse that races into battle, pulling
behind him the chariot of logic and evidence.
When the people see the magnificent heedlessness
of his charge, they cannot help but be carried
along.
The warrior spirit resides in the hara. It is
this spirit, and not any deed, that is the mark
of the true warrior. Thus, a man who has avoided
military service may be a greater and braver
warrior than a man who has served his country in
battle, sustained grave wounds, performed
“heroic” deeds, and been honored with
clanking, showy medals pinned to his garment.
Because human beings are prone to illusion, the
sounds and sights of battle—the groans of
the wounded, the maimed bodies of one’s
comrades—may remain in the mind for many
years, like a cloud that confuses judgment.
Hence, a man who has fought on the battlefield
and has later risen to high office may be fearful
of leading his people to war. Such weakness does
not afflict the armchair warrior, who at all
times is firm in his resolve.
The armchair warrior does not fear
death, especially not the death of other people.
The unenlightened mind is easily swayed by
pictures. Since it fails to grasp that life and
death are illusions, the sight of the flag-draped
remains of those slain by the enemy may make it
susceptible to weakness and feelings of pity.
Therefore, the armchair warrior does not let the
people see such images, except in settings that
can be properly controlled, such as his own
campaign advertisements.
Luxury is the enemy of Bushido. It saps the
strength of the people and makes them weak and
complacent. Therefore, the armchair warrior
strives to take wealth away from the poor and the
middle classes and give it to the wealthy, who
are already so weakened that they are beyond
help.
So-called wise men complain that the armchair
warrior is producing “deficits,”
emptying the coffers of the state and sinking it
ever deeper into indebtedness to usurers and
foreign moneylenders. In their
“wisdom,” these so-called wise men are
like the scholar who came to speak with Nan-in.
Pretending to ask a question, the scholar
flaunted his learning for ten minutes while
Nan-in, attending politely, brewed a pot of tea.
When the master filled the scholar’s cup, he
kept pouring until the tea overflowed the cup,
ran onto the table, and dripped to the floor,
forming a great puddle.
The scholar, astonished, asked the meaning of
Nan-in’s action. “The mind is like this
cup,” said Nan-in. “If you do not empty
yourself, how can you expect to be filled?”
The coffers of the state, too, are like the cup.
If they are not frequently emptied, how can they
be filled? Thus, the warrior takes it upon
himself to empty the coffers of the state into
the pockets of his friends, his relations, and
other members of his class. Knowing well the
corrupting power of luxury, he distributes these
treasures with reluctance. They are accepted with
equal reluctance. Yet not one among his fellows
shirks his duty.
The goal of life is awareness; the goal of
awareness is freedom. If the people of a foreign
land do not wish to be free, it is the duty of
the armchair warrior to force them.
The warrior strengthens his resolve and that of
his followers by chanting sutras, mantras, or
other strings of words, such as
weaponsofmassdestruction or linkstoalqaeda or
bringingdemocracytotheworld. It is not important
that these words bear any relation to reality or
even that they have any definite meaning. All
that matters is that they be chanted repeatedly
and with great urgency.
The Chinese word for “crisis” combines
the characters for “danger” and
“opportunity.” For the armchair
warrior, the significance of this is clear. Every
crisis is an opportunity, and the lack of crisis
poses a grave danger. In crisis, the people turn
to the warrior for guidance. Hence, if a crisis
has not occurred, the warrior creates one. If a
crisis is subsiding, the warrior inflames it. The
seventy-third hexagram of the I Ching is
interpreted as follows: “Two towers fall.
When smoke fills the people’s eyes, they can
be led anywhere.”
Once, a group of travellers were on a perilous
journey, in the course of which they had to cross
a river. Unluckily, their guide forgot the
location of the bridge, so the party had to ford
the river, which, at the place they then found
themselves, was shallow but very wide. After
several minutes of wading through the icy water,
the travellers began to grumble, “This guide
is worthless! Let us abandon him and find
another!” Sensing the discontent of his
charges, the guide cleverly led them into a
deeper part of the river, where the current was
stronger and the footing more treacherous.
“Help us!” the travellers cried.
“Esteemed guide, do not abandon us!”
The unenlightened believe it to be the height of
felicity to have no enemies. The armchair warrior
knows, however, that only a steady supply of
enemies can assure him the loyalty of his
friends. When so-called wise men warn him that in
rashly slaughtering his enemies he is merely
manufacturing more of them, he smiles. |
Or just contemplate this sketch by Edward Sorel, casting
the Bush cabinet in "The Wizard of Oz." Of
course, Bush plays the Scarecrow:
| "It
is worse than painful to reflect on how much
better off the United States and the world would
be today if the outcome of the 2000 election had
been permitted to correspond with the wishes of
the electorate. The attacks of September 11,
2001, would likely not have been avoided, though
there is ample evidence, in the 9/11 Commission
report and elsewhere, that Gore and his circle
were far more alert to the threat of Islamist
terrorism than Bush and his. But can anyone
seriously doubt that a Gore Administration would
have meant, well, an alternate universe, in which, say, American
troops were sent on a necessary mission in
Afghanistan but not on a mistaken and misbegotten
one in Iraq; the fate of the earth, not the fate
of oil-company executives, was the priority of
the Environmental Protection Agency; civil
liberties and diplomacy were subjects of
attention rather than of derision; torture found
no place or rationale?" - from "Comment: The Gore
Factor," by David Remnick, The
New Yorker, March 5, 2007, page 33
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